I don't even care
by blackhairAsian
Summary: Lovino, Gilbert, and Matthew was sick of caring, of trying to be good, because they knew they would never be loved.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia**  
Lovino was starting to really hate his life at home, his perfect air headed brother, his nonno who omly showed love to his Feliciano, but he wasn't the only one Marcello was ignored to. No matter what they did it was never enough but yet Feliciano was praised just for waking up in the morning. Sure Feli was a good cook but so was he and Marcello. I had good grades and was the top of the Track and football team(soccer for americans), but it wasn't enough it was always you could do better or why don't you act like Feli, he has such personality, he does what I say. Well you know what the world can go fuck itself, lets all praise Feliciano and ignore Marcello and Lovino. They wouldn't care it always you two look after Feliciano, why can't Feli and I watch Marcello isn't the youngest. Truth is he really loved both of his fratello's but he was sick of being underestimated and unappreciated, nobody bother to show love to Marcello either.

"It would sure be nice for being praised for waking up in the morning"

Nonno and I always argued to the point were I don't even bother to talk to him. I knew if I bothered to tell him something it's always go away or just si si. Then later he asks me where I got that nasty bruise that starting to fade away when I told him weeks ago. Everything just seemed so pointless, I just want to get praised for something, why does the world have to expect so much more from me then Feliciano. Can't somebody see that I want love, Feli got everything he wanted even that stupid boyfriend of his, why can't I loved. Why can't I have friends, real ones that care for me? But it has gone so far that I don't care anymore.  
Later on I accidentally spilled fine wine and Feli's pasta sauce, I got yelled all to hell for it. Nonno went ape shit insane on me, at first I wanted to clean it up but now I don't even care. It was his wine and he was probably just going to use it to seduce some bitch.

"I don't even care"

"If you didn't just stand there the mess would be cleaned already, or maybe if you used your eyes for once you wouldn't have made this mess."

"At first I wanted to clean it but you know what I don't even care"

"Feliciano do you want to clean this mess your brother made"

"Um sure'

"See at least your brother can clean up stuff"

"I don't even care" I ran to the room Marcello and I shared, Feli got his own room like the little prince he is.

"You and nonno got into an argument again"

"Yeah" I said looking forward, normally I would be angry, but I didn't even care.  
**Please review and tell me how you like it**


	2. Incomplete human

**I what to thank Dyslexic-Carmine and tell her that I will not be doing much dialogue until later chapters or the next one. I was actually to lazy and mad to write more dialogue at the time, and I will try to improve my grammar.**  
**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia**  
Everybody seemed to find love, or least all the people around him except for him. Even the most boring stick in the ass people somehow found someone who they say completes them. Roderich found Elizavetta don't get him wrong he was happy that his piano playing anti-social cousin had let loose a bit after getting a girlfriend, but he was slowly being shut out from the both of them. His brother who had amnesia and was slowly obtaining his memories found his lost love Feliciano, cute naïve kid, was slowly ignoring him to. Franny finally found someone he loved instead of a simple one night stand, Jeanne. Francis also started ignoring him for his lover Jeanne. Antonio love struck on a tsundere italian, talked to him less and less about things other than Lovino. Weird thing is people love to talk to me yet I'm so empty nobody can see through my mask.

I didn't help that he was rivals with multiple people in the school, his gramps thought he was useless compared to Ludwig and Roderich. Ivan one of the many people he gets into fights with was beginning to get stronger. If I said I didn't love anybody you would just say i'm lonely and bitter which is true I am lonely and bitter, except for the part of I don't love anybody. I liked someone like me lonely and forgotten, just the problem is he only sees me as the main man of the bad touch trio, Matthew doesn't care about me. So if love does really make the world go round my world has stopped. I'm so lonely, does anyone care, because I don't not really. Just look at me the great and awesome Gilbert lonely, sad and uncaring of everything. Leave me locked up in my room, someone hear me out, someone see through this mask of smiles. Matthew pay attention to me you're the one that makes me care. Tomorrow I want to tell you my feelings, please let me care about something, make me feel whole. Make me care.

Ludwig was leaving to pick up up his boyfriend, I guess I should get going, take a walk all these depressing thoughts was making me hate life.  
**Matthew**  
I'm invisible, if a person sees me they're must likely going to hit me or something like that as punishment for whatever his brother did. Why can't I be noticed I'm not obnoxious, loud, or a glutton that eats everything in sight I think about what I say, but yet I'm not loved or acknowledged. Alfred the golden boy, the one who gets all the credit for something I did. While he is on the Football(american) team scoring touchdowns, I'm in the hockey team winning games and trying to get attention. They say love makes the world round, my world is a square. My parents don't even acknowledge me I get good grades, I can cook, I listen to you when you talk to me, why don't you love. But now I don't even know why I should care, if being nice doesn't get me attention bring me attention. Maybe it'll get me attention from my crush Gilbert, he's obnoxious, loud, and well know just like my brother. But for some reason I get that he's kinda like me and Lovino the sibling in the shadows, even if he has friends he seems lonely like he's missing something. Maybe he liked Elizavetta and Roderich took her away from him, or maybe he's in the exactly same position as Lovino and I. I find myself wondering what is love is it angst, that light fluffy feeling, or something completely different. Why should I care people like me never find anybody, we're just shadows of the famous. I should care about how people see me but I'm beginning to care less and less I just what to be acknowledged, loved, known to all the people of this school.

If I stopped caring about how I looked and acted people would notice me, Gilbert will see. I should tell Lovino about this we both want to be known and loved, even if that means to stop caring about those around us. Now I don't even care about anything.

**Please tell me about how you liked this chapter**


	3. Attention at last

**I felt bad for giving Prussia and Matthew such a small chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia**

**Matthew**  
Ever since I was a kid I was never given attention, even though I was smarted than Alfred when he didn't what to try, key word didn't, Alfred was to lazy to ever try. Yet there are people like me who try their hardest and are never acknowledged, being good doesn't pay, being nice doesn't reward. Avoid conflicts and problems has always been my motto, yet thanks to that I have only faced one problems in life being noticed. Some people have all the luck for example Feliciano and Alfred, lady luck favors the foolish. Never acknowledged, never loud, never praised, never given a break. On the outside he was calm, and collected but inside he wanted to scream, to cry, to slap Alfred and teach him a lesson. The only times he was acknowledged was when Alfred had done wrong he was the who was punished, confused for Alfred, that was the only time he was acknowledged. That is until he met Lovino, someone else who was friendless, someone who had the "perfect brother" together they met the Antonio and Francis everything seemed to be a bit better. After all misery loves company. Francis and Antonio was more of a family to them, excluding Marcello who was like Lovino just with more friends.

Then there was Gilbert the one who supported him and gave him undivided attention, the one who made him feel loved, but that was impossible right. I'm never going to be loved. Gilbert was part of the bad touch trio pranksters, popular, one the people who never took anything seriously. What would he say if I said I love you, probably laugh and abandon him, after all who wants to love someone like him. Lovino probably only hung out with him because he was lonely, but he has been hanging out with Antonio more and more will soon abandon him.

But why should I care.

It seems like the class had ended, my musing had blocked out the teacher's lecture. Walking out of the classroom Cruz came up to me.

" It's Alfred look at him I didn't know that idiot could be so quiet"

"Don't call me Alfred, he's my brother. Don't you dare confuse the two of us again" I raised my hand, tightened my fist and punched him in the face. It felt good, it was for all the times I was blamed on something Alfred did.

" Alfred how dare you hit another student" One teacher said.

"I'm not Alfred, I'm Matthew Williams and I don't care, Cruz has been hitting me for the past years and nobody has done a thing" It felt wonderful to speak out, goodbye guy not caring has been so fun. The teacher was shocked quiet Matthew who never spoke out in class was yelling.

"Don't talk back to your elder like that even if I confused you, you shouldn't use violence to solve your problems"

"I don't care about what method I use to solve my problems"

"Matthew to the office now" I didn't really care.  
**Please review and tell me how you like it.**


	4. I'll make you guys care

**Disclaimer: I don't own hetalia**  
I hear so many things that keeping me in the dark is almost impossible, like the fact that Lovino and his gramps relationship is burning, or how Matthew Williams not Alfred snapped and hit another student. Or how Alfred loved that angry brit or how Elizavetta thought she was a boy, or how Roderich had secret one night stands with a bunch of people before Elizavetta. He knew too much sometimes except for the things that really matter to him. He wanted to know how Matthew felt not just the one who helped him up, or the obnoxious boy. He wanted Matthew to love him the way he did, the reason that made him care, the one who made him whole. I'm hopeless, I'm acting like a schoolgirl in love, well the in love part is correct.

Well, Mattie and Lovino is in the process of snapping, not caring, I had snapped a long time ago. I was worthless only able to get into fights, I couldn't cook, play, I wasn't smart compared to Roderich and Ludwig, I was and still am worthless. Roderich could play the piano, violin, and a bit of cello and viola. Ludwig could fix things easily whither technological or mechanical. It was even his fault that Ludwig lost his memories, if he didn't take his little brother out with the trio, Francis wouldn't have accidentally hit Ludwig, Ludwig still would have had all those memories of the past. Opa had every right to yell and scream at me, but I was an arrogant ungrateful prick. I met Antonio and Francis people who could have a future but was throwing it away. The only ones who completely understood what we did I why was Lovino and Matthew.

Matthew had started yelling at teachers and starting to fight other students with Lovino, they have a future why were they throwing it away at least when I started to snap I couldn't do anything. Why Matthew why are going to do this if you what love and attention i'll give you it. Lovino if you want love and attention Antonio love be more then happy to oblige. Don't throw your life away, care about those around you continue living the type of you're living you're going to get noticed in a much better way someday. Matthew you made me care so tomorrow I'm definitely going to show you my feelings. I'm going to make you care again, the both of you, we can all be lonely together. We can all laugh at the people who don't get us with the rest of the trio, we can amaze the losers with our awesomeness, we can show people how much we care about the haters. I realized that we don't have to be loveless,lonely, and misunderstood. I will not wear my mask tomorrow, Lovino will not put his defensive walls up, and Matthew will not be quiet. I texted the rest of the bad touch trio and Lovino and Matthew to meet me later today at the park.

**Please review and tell me if i should stop or continue, i feel like continuing.**


	5. Happy end Part 1

**Hey ya just wanted to thank the wonderful reviewers at first I wanted to just make it one shots about Romano, Canada, and Prussia, but then I was like Mattie's and Gilbo's chap is way to short desu yo~. Then I saw those comments and views and I was like Holy Roman Empire I am continuing this, I also want to see my progression as a writer.**  
**Also if you haven't noticed I change main the front two characters when i switch POV so to keep up you can either A) Fav or follow B)Remember the title and search it up or**  
**C)Search through each of the characters categories at the top(if on computer) bottom if on phone Disclaimer I don't Hetalia I'm also kinda surprised you guys like this my writing for Canada and Prussia are kinda shaky compared to some writers on this sight, but I'm glad you like this. NOW WITHOUT FURTHER ADO~**

My defense is my offense I wear this mask of cursing and anger to protect myself. Why show love when you're just going to get your heart broken. Why try so hard when it's not going to anything, sure call lazy with no motivation. I just want to get out of the house when I have to college Mattie and I have the scholarships that go to the same school, what can fate seems like putting to people like Matteo and I together.

"Hey Lovino did you get into a fight with Sadiq again" Matthew was here, at the park with a slightly bruised cheek. Sadiq, ah the boy couldn't take no for answer though Toni usually protected him and by that I mean go into possessive rage mode I beat/scared him off. Sadiq soon cornered me later, I ended up beating him back, then us fighting for a date soon became regular. To bad he couldn't see how much that Egyptian liked him.

"Did you confront Cruz?" I smiled Matthew stood up to the boy who always confused him with his brother Alfred and bullied him for it. Our pretty little boy facade had fallen off kids had heard that Mattie and I got into fights after school. We didn't really care our caretakers had started scolding us, we finally had to do something bad for you to finally acknowledge us bastards.

"Yeah he should know not to confuse me with Alfie, how are your grades doing?"

"Perfect, why"

"Eh, my parents said that hanging around you was a bad influence saying don't hang around punks with bad grades who are going nowhere in life, but you have and Francis have a scholarship, Antonio plans to open a cafe, you same thing if your soccer stuff fails, and Gilbert has been trying out for model stuff and has been getting money out of it."

"Well then that shows your parents something, correct. Dammit when is Gilbert and Antonio going to get here aren't they the ones who said they wanted us to come."

"We should have patience Lovino, Gilbert said he and Antonio was going to be late"

"Those old men should hurry up, at the very least they should repay us for the wait"  
**Matthew POV**

Lovino was as impatient as ever, though I did wish Gilbert and Antonio would would hurry up what are they doing that is so important. They called us here and said to be on time even though they are the  
ones late. Well I should have expected it, it is Antonio we are talking about Gilbert probably had to wake him up. I can't wait to see Gilbert today I will get Lovino and Antonio to leave us alone and I will confess. I'll tell him my feelings I haven't shied out this whole week I will not today. Wait what if he pulls and Alfred and thinks when I say I love you it means I like you as a friend. He and Alfred acts alike when serious calm and collected but most of the time obnoxious and weird. Ah how do I deal with this right now I wish to be invisible maybe I can sneak away and save myself from this humiliation.

"Oi Matthew I think they are here I can see their car in the distance" Right there I think I just died, how will I do the impossible again, earlier  
this month I snapped at people now I am about to tell Gilbert my feelings. Whats wrong with me I whimpered to myself(or in other words worded out with no sound coming out of my mouth).

I looked to Lovino the person who helped me get through the dark days where would I be without him or without the bad touch trio, I would have killed myself years ago. I hated myself back then and still kinda do. I wanted to let go of myself and release the burden, but then I met Lovino he was just like me with the brother situation. It was one of the very first time someone saw me I was so happy, maybe I even had a secret hero worship over him for a bit. Lovino also introduced me to Gilbert he helped me so much more then I have for him. Or was it that I keep Lovino from hurting himself, that I kept him from feeling alone.  
"Where was Antonio and Gilbert. They're walking so slow"

"Those bastards they're wasting our time"

"Well it's not like we have anything else to do or look forward to"

**SORRY I CUT IT SHORT BUT I HAVE AN IMPORTANT ANNOUCEMENT**  
**I WANT TO ASK YOU I YOU WANT ANOTHER CHAPTER AFTER THE HAPPY WHICH IS CALLED BAD END. YOU CAN ASSUME THAT MATTHEW, GLIBERT, AND LOVINO WILL NOT HAVE THE BEST OF TIMES. PLEASE REQUEST IF YOU WANT BAD END.**


	6. Happy end

**I am so sorry I haven't updated. I don't even have an excuse(please don't shoot me), I didn't really feel like writing, but now I feel like writing a bunch of stuff like two mini stories. Also I want to ask for advice, nothing much. Is high school hard? **  
**I Guess you guys don't want the bad end, that ok I didn't feel like making myself hate myself. So I think this is the end of the small trip. So some shameless self advertising my next story will be PruAus with Hungary being the matchmaker. **  
**Also I use google translations for different languages. Have mercy for abandoning you guys.**  
**Warning There WILL BE SOME KISSING AND FLUFF **  
**Antonio**

Today was the day I confess to Lovino, he had put up so many walls but he had a great personality, his smile was also absolutely beautiful. Gilbert was going to tell um ah I forgot his name, Matt, Matthew that was his name. Lovino and I had been friends since children I never knew what I felt when I was younger but soon learned it was love. I could see in his eyes that he was hurting seeming to beg for attention. I just could never reach out for him. I always kept my face smiling and wide, because why be sad all the time when you can be happy. Lovino I'm going to save you I'm going to reach for you and make you feel loved. I'm going to give you the attention you never had.

**Time Skip To Park( I never specified were they were oppsie)**

"What took you so long bastards, you sure made coming here a stroll in the park"  
"Well we are in the park Lovi" I gave him a earnest smile and ran up to him.

"So what the hell did you guys call us up here for"

"Yeah, I've been wondering that to" A meek voice said, who said that looking over to the left I saw Matt looking at Gilbert and I.

"Ah well" I kissed Lovi on the lips.

"We wanted to tell you something" Gilbert walked up to Matthew, but for now I just want to focus on Lovino.

"Waa, what the hell was that for"

"I love you Lovino, I have for a while just I was to afraid to confess." He look to me with wide astonished eyes, so cute.

"Lair you just want to use me like those other people" It hurt me that he would say that to me, but I have lured other people in and he has seen me do that. If Lovino loved me it must have hurt him so much to see me with other people. Whispering words of love to others even though he knew the relationship would all be over quickly. If I had seen Lovi do that to other people I wouldn't been able to contain myself, I would be lost.

"I'm not lying Lovi I truly love you, mi tesoro."

"Stop it you say that to everybody, I will not be fooled. To think you would try to trick me, I will not be fooled by false words of love!" He was screaming at me. I grabbed his body and pulled his against mine.

"I'm not lying, think when was the last time I lied to you" Pulling his face to mine I looked into his eyes.

"Tell me that I am lying Lovi" The few times I took things seriously I always got what I was saying across. The regular carefree Toni was gone, the one that always got what he wanted was in. This side of me was going to get his true feeling across.  
I came closer to his face and kissed it, soon it became quicker and much more passionate. I heard a soft moan and separated our faces.

"Amor, I not lying" Lovino looked into my face and I saw the most magnificent thing, his smile. Lovi came up and gently kissed my face. His eyes were full of life and happiness, a mix of gentle green, vibrant golden flecks and warm brown as the background. He was perfect. What else can I say.  
**Gilbert**  
After Antonio ran up and kissed Lovino I waked off with Matthew saying that we should give them some space.

"So Gilbert what did you want to tell me" He was so oblivious to my feeling, so I might as well be blunt.

"I love you"  
"What did you say ….. Gilbert"

"Je t'aime. Ich liebe dich. Te amo Matthew do you get what I am saying" I looked into his bright blue eyes filled with confusion.

"You... love...me" He pointed to himself.

"Is it really that hard to believe, you're an amazing person, and easy to love." I said smiling to him reaching for his hand. Grabbing it I kissed him and pulled him towards my face. Kissing him on the lips.

"Gilbert I love you too, I liked you for a while now. I just never thought you returned my feeling" My heart skipped a beat he loved me too. I smiled widely and kissed his nose.

"Hey, it's getting late do you want me to walk you home."

"Of course, I gotta introduce you to the family as my boyfriend."

"Have I ever told you no matter how awesome I am and how much Alfred and I are friends. I am getting my face stomped in."

"Come on isn't afraid of my family, can't he protect himself from Alfred "

"Not a chance."  
**Matthew**  
He loves me I feel so warm and fluffy. I wonder how Lovino is doing. Well today was perfect, the though of not caring and giving up was totally out of Lovino and I's mind. Today was perfect, I wouldn't change it for anything now time to introduce Gilbo to the family.  
**I feel like I like it could do better.**  
**Reviews are appreciated and feed the the soul of this writer. It also helps cure writers block, and makes me happy and full of joy.**  
**Flames are used to warm my ramen noddles when my family's weekly food cycle comes to an end.**


	7. Spamano Epilogue

**Hello there my friends I am going to upload a Prucan and Spamano epilogue just because making those two a new story would take longer to upload and may spoil people who haven't read this story. Make sense?Anyway I wasn't planing on doing this to soon but I received some motivation today. Anyway this is my most popular story so far.  
**

**Chapter name: Triple date**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or YouTube**

Right now I am laying on my bed watching YouTube videos waiting for my happy go lucky boyfriend to pick me up so we can go on our triple date. Yes you heard me correctly we are going on a triple date with the pervy bastard and his girlfriend and my brother. Surprisingly Francis was incredibly fateful to Joan. I swear he hasn't even checked out a girl for two months ever since they started dating. Joan did a great job on making Francis keep it in his pants. And of course the man who decided we should all go on a date was my brother in all his glory after finding out Antonio and I were dating, thanks to a certain girl name Bella.

She decided on stalking after hanging out with us, she must have realized we were making her a third wheel. Antonio and I were making out after having lunch and walking to my house. It was a pretty good time until somebodies phone went off outside my widow alarming us.

**Flashback**

**"**Crap why did my phone go off it was going to get better than it already was."

"Bella what the hell are you doing here" I screamed as I opened the window. She grinned and looked up at me.

"I decided on watching you two after I noticed both of your gazes at each other looked more intense and passionate. You two also started holding hands more often and Antonio became more touchy feely towards you. So I thought something must have happened to you two. And I was correct."

"Bella I don't mind that you were watching but you interrupted Lovi and I for that. No show for you, leave please" Antonio firmly stated out towards Bella making her leave. Antonio then proceeded to give me one of Bella's Cheshire cat grins.

"So, Lovi want to continue"

"No"

"Por que"

**End of Flashback**

What we didn't know was that she video taped us and sold the video to Elizaveta who showed it to Kiku who showed it to Feliciano. Now every time we kiss I feel like I have eyes looking at the two of us. Not that Antonio and I mind, but if they want to get a show go look at the other gay guys. There are tons of them but you choose us two I mean at least Antonio and I aren't the only ones getting this. Potato bastard number two and Matthew has been getting all this attention and I think Gilbert and Antonio are getting pissed over getting cock blocked be girls fangirling over us.

I then decided to get dressed.

**Prussian time skip **

"There you two are Francis and I have been waiting for you" There Joan asked in a blue dress with her hairpin that Francis gave her.**  
**

"Oui one can only think what those two lovebirds have been doing"

"You Pervy bastard we were stuck in traffic" How dare he think of such things.

"Fratello~ you arrived before me, Ve~" There Feliciano was with his Potato stick in the ass boyfriend. I swear I could see flowers spurting out of him.

" Ai ya what are you kids doing here" Oh don't tell me that he worked here was he did worked here he would be the world's most stereotypical chinese man.

" We're going on a triple date with Francis and Feli" Antonio said while hugging me/squeezing the air out of me.

"I work here"And the world's most stereotypical chinese man goes to Yao Wang.

After that we had a seeming average dinner until Feliciano and the wine bastard decided to ask questions.

"So fratello when did you two confess?"

"I confessed to Lovi one week ago, and had a soft pure kiss afterwards. We made eye contact afterwards and Lovi eyes were as beautiful as ever, and his face was blushing like crazy" Wow he was telling my brother a lot about what happened.

"So Antonio how did Romulas react when you told him you were dating Lovino"

"He was fine Romulas said he is happy that Lovi finally found somebody to love."

"Then my old man decided to give him advice on wooing me" Old man needed a life.

"Um I have question to ask you four?"

"Ve~ What is it "

"The Yaoi club asked me to take pictures of you guys kissing and I would feel bad if I took one without you guys knowing" How the hell did Francis get a girl this nice.

"Ve~ lets kiss Luddy"

And the night ended with a make out session and a blushing shameful looking blond hair girl. And Francis hugging her since she didn't want to kiss him.

* * *

**The next day**

"You two kiss we need photos" Our blond hair green eyed friend screamed to us.

"No"

"Si" Wait si.

Next thing I knew Antonio was glomping and kissing me.

"Let go" I half struggled and screamed. Then decided to go with it kissing him back, you fangirls can get some entertainment for now.

**I am so sorry, this chapter sucks do bad. I CAN'T WRITE FLUFF TO SAVE MY LIFE. Don't hit me for the fail in this chapter. Anyway you guys should check out my other stuff, I think it is better then this story. Buy ImmortalHDFilms shirts( You have watched anything with him in it you would get that) insert plugin here. **

**See ya later~,**

**Black**


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